Emo Meryle
You know what is awesome!? Hormonal mood swings (i.e. depression) due to my period, combined with hormonal mood swings (i.e. depression) due to low blood sugar levels, combined with practicing sad songs for tears in your beer karaoke (which requires I dig deep emotionaly). Yeah great eh!? Plus I'm trying to scouge some gross mental images out of my mind! Yeah so great! I'm taking after Tina and turning into "emo Meryle". Maybe it has something to do with my birthday week. Tina became "emo Tina" the 4 days leading up to her b-day. My b-day is the 22nd so that works. And I feel even more usless and emo since I think I pissed off someone with my self loathing. Which sucks because I'm not sure if I was asking for their help because I wanted their help or because I just wanted them to pay attention to me, and feel sorry for me cause I miss them. Honestly, it bothers me that I may actually have done something to a friend, that is unfair and emotinaly manipulative. Even if I didn't realise that was my motivation. And I'm beginging to think that really was my modivation, because I'm upset I haven't heard from them. Yeah this is fucked. Uh I feel so awful and useless. I feel so impotent and unloved, and I'm still having trouble stoping wanting to cry all the time.
And the worst part is I don't know if this is genuine feeling, or if it's cause I'm fucking with my blood levels, and pms-ing.
BUT! But on a good note, I've discovered that Spagetti Squash is great! Especially with cheese. I usually hate squash, but this is really yum! You can treat it just like real pasta, using the same sauces and what not! I may never eat real pasta again!
HELP STOP STEPHEN HARPER
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The reason why I never write anymore is..... - December 25, 2004
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