Lobotomy
RAMONES KARAOKE RULED!!!! I haven't had that much fun in a long long time. I met with my friend Shawna (who is on her reading week) at the Java Hut where we ran into Naomi (who I know from the dance cave) talked there for about an hour, then headed over to the Bovine. Proceded to get loaded and smoked too much (finished the gawdanm pack that was supposed to last till the technical writer party on thursday). Shawna and I had tons of fun, talking to everyone around us before the show (I usually never talk to anyone there that I don't already know). The vapids get on stage, and I'm the second person up. I sang The Blitzkrieg Bop, and Beat on the Brat. I couldn't really hear myself but everything seemed to go well, because when I got off stage several people complemented me on my stage presence, and told me I did a good job. And then there was that black guy with the monroe and the mini hawk who just said to me "YEEAAH! Thats what I'm talking about!!!" Actually he said it twice, second time being after I got of the stage the second time. Singing with a band backing is so much better and so easier to get into then with a karaoke track. Especially if it's a punk band. I really need to start a band. It made me wish I knew more of the words to more of the songs. The band took a twenty minute break and shawna had to leave. During the break this guy comes up to me (he was friends with this guy who I know, but have never really talked to and was never told his name). I don't think I've ever seen this guy before and he askes me if I'm in the Scandelles. I was taken aback and excited, that someone I'm sure I don't know, knows that I'm a burlesque dancer. I was all "no I'm with Skin tight outta sight." And he's asking when my next show is, and about burlesque and "oh it's at the cadillac lounge? I've never been there whats it like?" and all that jazz. I'm tottaly stoked when cute guys start asking me about burlesque! (p.s. I started on my rant yesterday to people about how the cuteness of a guy is determained by their looks, but first and formost their style. Cause looks and no style is boo! Good style and clothing makes a man so much more atractive then his features, I think). So I got up on stage second set for Needles and Pins, made a little anouncement "my name is meryle and I'm looking to start a band. If you need a singer come talk to me after!" in my best DJ Shannon "first call for last call! First call for last call at the bar" voice. once again I tottaly couldn't hear myself and there was one part where I thought they changed key, and I wasn't sure I was in key, but everyone said that I sounded good so it's all right. But it was kinda wierd afterwards because people I see atthe bovine all the time, who never talk to me were comming up to me and telling me I was great. Daryl (bovine's owner) came up to me and told me I was awesome (again.... first time being a few months ago when he heard me at karaoke for the first time and started yelling about me about having an awesome voice). And Daryl's brother Doug (who runs suspect video on queen) came up to me for the first time ever and introduced himself, told me he was Daryl's brother and that he used to live with Deanna (which I already knew cause of some gossip I was told by Erik) and just chatted to me for a couple of minutes. I ended up waiting around till the end to take a taxi with Shannon. I was saying to Chrissy, how it was kinda interesting, since I've been comming to the bovine as a regular just a little under a year and I think only now are people starting to know who I am, and getting to know that I'm a singer. I'm sure most people didn't know before last night that I was. Anyway all in all it was a good night.
There was the potential for a mini drama but it was avoided. Monday night Shannon told me that Erik had signed up for Ramones karaoke too. I debated not going but in the end decided that I shouldn't let him keep me from doing things I want to do, especially if it is something I planed to do with friends. So I figured it would be ok since I had 24 hours to emotionaly prepare myself to see him, and I would be polite and say hi, Probably wish him a happy birthday (February 26th) but otherwise avoid him. It would be weird, but I would deal. I got a phone call from Shannon around 4pm tueday telling me that Erik had just called her saying that he was gonna back out, since he knew I was gonna be there, and he didn't think it was a good idea for him to be there so soon after the break up. I thanked shannon for telling me, and although I was surprisingly disapointed that I wouldn't get to see him, I really apreciated the fact that he was respecting my request to not show up places that he knew I was gonna be. It's deffinatly better for me that way. But I did feel a little bad about it, because it was so much fun. I think Erik would have enjoyed it, and I would have loved to have heard what he thought of my performence. And Shannon is his friend first. But then I realise that as much as I want to feel bad for him, I shouldn't because it's his own fault that he is in this position. I mean he did complain to me that living in etobicoke made him feel isolated from his friends. But what does he go and do? Isolate himself from one of his best friends (me), and isolate himself from being able to go to places his (our) friends go to, by telling me to take all our nights. It's so hard. I alternate between feeling really bad for him because I care,and want him to be happy, and not giving a damn because it's his own damn fault that he can't deal with any of this, and is fucking it up himself.
Erg..... It's very hard to let go of a relationship, when there was so much love comming from both sides when it ended.
p.s. If anyone knows how to take care of aloe plants please email me. I'm a little worried about mine. Several of the leaves are loosing their turgedness, and it hasn't been the same since one of my roomates knocked it out of it's pot, picked up the plant (and root system) put it back in the pot, swept up all the soil that fell out of the pot THREW IT IN THE TRASH AND DIDN'T TELL ME!!! I've since repoted it and added more soil but it still doesn't look to good and the roots aren't taking to the new soil.
Maybe I should start listening to that Gardening call in show on CBC.
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The reason why I never write anymore is..... - December 25, 2004
Videos of the Halloween Hoopla - November 03, 2004
long updateness. - October 18, 2004
what? updates!? - October 14, 2004
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